TUDAWR 2

TUDAWR

Play.

Characters: Me, Her, the Universe.

Setting: underground metro station in Virginia.

I spit into a ditch between the wall and a railing I'm leaning on. I'm wearing a suit and tie and workingboots, like the ones workers use at construction sites. Cranes are cool. I'm also wearing a nasty cold and snot invades my larynx, esophagus, nasal cavity and nasal orifices.

Orificii.

She sees me spit and says with a tone that reminds me of chalk dissolving in dychloric acid: "don't spit on the walls, don't you have no manners?..."

She is about to chalk something else but I politely interrupt:...Double negative. Give me your shoes!

What?

Geive maaeyy yaauw shuuuuus; I say again with a smile and the best worst southern drawl I can fashion. I extend the "u" in "shuuuus" like a howling monkey would to attract a female howling she-monkey or if another howling monkey was trying to steal his mango.

Note to audience: howling monkeys like mangoes just as much as they like she-monkeys.

I made that up.

Where does man go?

Confusion and fear is an interesting look. Panic is creeping in.

She walks away in short fast steps like a skipping bunny rabbit afraid her chocolate eggs are melting.

The Universe remains.